dedicated to the special one

It has been 3 days since the special one received the gifts. There were two thanks, 1 nice gift and 1 appreciate mentioned in the email. In addition, there is one blessing sentence and one advice for me. I am searching nowhere for a word, like or love.

The email, promptly after I read, had given me mixed feelings. I was happy that you received the gift (finally). However, I wonder if the appreciate in my term has the same meaning of the special one. To me, appreciate means you know how much effort he put in and you really appreciate him for doing so. However, you may not accept or like it. Appreciate sounds like the receiver is being grateful, only grateful. Thus I feel that my effort did not break the ice of ur heart. It may just warm you up, but fail to reach my goal.

After replying the email, I have been waiting for the special one to reply my email or online MSN and have further communication. In contrast, the special one did not show up. I had sent sms, email, msn msgs to the special one but I just lost the communication with the special one.

I am waiting for an answer, obviously - a clearer answer. You can tell me either I have chance, I dont have chance or you need more time to consider. I just need an answer, instead of avoiding me. Perhaps I am too paranoid, perhaps I am too pessimistic. The 3 days waiting in front of my computer despite having back pain is breaking my heart day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second. I began to feel that I am pestering you, i am harassing you and yet you r scared of hurting me and choose to avoid me for the time being.

it is even more hurting of doing so. Perhaps u r busy, perhaps u r not at home, but since u can online into ur friendster, why didnt you chk ur email or login ur MSN? Perhaps this is really too coincidence, or perhaps.. u really dont know how to face me, or telling me to give up on u.

I have heard friends complaining how thick skin are the suitors are, how much are they scared of the suitors and how pestering the suitors are. I dont want to be like the suitor they mentioned. Ppl told me not to give up. I dont want to give up either. However, I afraid you feel that I am pestering you. That would widen the distance in ur heart.

The files in the mp3 took me hours to prepare, especially the recordings couldnt be played together in the music files due to the file format. It took me hours to look for the converter and yet it still could not be played in music files until I used two different coverters to convert twice into mp3 format. It looks easy but I would want to let you know I really put in my effort into it. I know you will read this blog, just a matter of time.

I am not giving up on u until u tell me to stop. However, I will not contact you from now on because I have a strong feeling that u r avoiding me. I hope u can tell me ur decision in a day's time. you can give me either Yes, No, or let me have more time to consider. BUT PLS, not avoiding me. it is hurting me.......

No matter what is ur decision. I will still bless you and wish you can complete what you want to do, solve ur problems easily, safe from any danger and be happy. The last gift of the valentine's day is going to reach you soon.

Miss you, the special one..